Life:
Saturday's journal entry...
Well, tommorow will be Harmony's last time nursing! :( I've made my pros and cons list, and have made the desicion, and am sticking with it. As must as I'll miss it, I know that she is ready to move on. We're now down to one nursing per day- at 10:45. Even now, she still seems to not take as much as she does on the bottle, and seems crabby and fussy until lunch. Hopefully having her on a bottle at 10:45 will allow her to take in what she needs. I switched her from nursing at 5:30 to a bottle at 5:30 on Tuesday and after drinking the 6 oz bottle I made for her, she still wanted more so I made another couple ozs. So at first I thought "hey cool, maybe my breasts were making 8 oz of milk for her!" but then when it came time for supper, she didn't eat any of it. And then when I gave her her 7:30 bottle (which she usually takes 6-7oz of), she only took 4 oz. But then she was up at 2am for a bottle instead of 5. So it kinda messed up our whole schedule. My theory is that usually when she nursed at 5:30, she got tired quicker since it wasn't as easy and only took in 5 oz or so before falling asleep, or just losing interest. Then she would be hungry again for cereal at 6:30. Which explains why she would eat so much cereal! So now she has about 7 oz at 5:30, and about half the cereal she was having before (so from half a cup to about a quarter cup) and is hungry again for a 6 oz bottle before bed. I have a feeling that when I switch the 10:45 meal from nursing to bottle, I'll have even more re-arranging to do, and that's why it's really good that I have a week to get her into a new schedule before she starts...daycare!!!
That's right, I got a daycare spot at one of the two local universities. (because of the occasional loser on the internet, I haven't put their names, or the name of my city) I was planning on going to the first university, because they are faster to get to by bus, but I wouldn't have got into their daycare until like, December or April or something. So I would've been dropping her off at a daycare on my side of the city (if I'd gotten a spot) and then busing to the first one. While this still would've been less travel time than going to Carleton, the advantages are still pretty good. Firstly, there's the fact that she's starting on the 5th of July! So I have two months to work on my correspondance work, work on my job as a marketing excutive for Melaleuca, and get organized for fall, although I think I may officially have to have "job search" status to be able to keep the spot and still get a subsidy. Secondly, having a day care spot on campus will be great. I wouldn't have had that at University #1 for at least another 6 months. Thirdly, university #2 is offering me an extra $1000 scholarship (#1 is offering $8,000 over 4 years, #2 is offering $9,000 over 4 years). Fourthly, #2 has better parking for when I do get my car (which'll hopefully be around Christmas). So although #1 is closer by bus, and my best friends are going there, I'm still taking the daycare spot. Cause I mean, if it doesn't work out, or if one of the daycare spots in my little district calls me to tell me I have a spot there, I can always change my mind. I hope. I still have to look into how late I can change which university's offer of admissions I accept. Right now I've accepted to #1, but if I send in my letter of acceptance to #2, it'll automatically negate my first accpetance letter. Anyways, hopefully it'll all work out for the best, and at least now I don't have to worry about having a spot. If nothing else comes up, I'll still be able to go to school in Sept.
Today (Sat.), my mother in law (well, you know, sorta, Chris' mother) threw a party for Harmony and invited her side of the family. She finally started telling people about the baby a few weeks ago and now some of them have finally gotten the chance to meet her! It went well, better than I thought. I thought I'd feel kinda out of the loop, especially without Chris by my side, by his relatives were really nice. Harmony got to meet her great-grandparents, her great-uncles Brian and Gary, and her 2nd cousins Jason, Jen and Amy. They got Harmony some really cool presents, including a really cool excersaucer. We put her in it to play and she just loved it. Everyone was taking pictures and watching her play and she was just eating up all the attention! She loved being the little star and gave everyone some adorable smiles... :)
A brief journal entry on Sunday:
Jus thought I'd add this little extra bit... I just finished nursing Harmony for the last time, and I am just so sad. I mean, I'm happy that she's independant enough to want to wean, and that she loves the bottle, and that she got a daycare spot for the 5th, but I'm really going to miss breastfeeding her! And I wont get to breastfeed again for another 4 years or whatever... :( I guess it's also upsetting, because it's a very real reminder to me that babies grow up. Harmony is 7 months old today, and I can still remember the first week of nursing her. It's also sad because although I'm going to make sure I remember her last breastfeeding (I took a couple pictures and now I'm writing here), it'll never make up for my not being able to remember the first time I breastfed her. I mean, I vaguely remember, but not really. At this point I just can't understand mothers who don't want to breastfeed! Well, I can logically, but not emotionally. Who could not want to at least try to share this special bond with their baby? I'm very happy I've been able to breastfeed Harmony for over half of her first year of life, and I enjoyed most of it (although even in my nostalgic haze today while nursing her for the last time, I still winced at the sharpness of those two little teeth!). I'm confident that we will still have our bonding time in other ways, and I am glad that Harmony is weaned, no matter how sad it is. Yes, I will miss breastfeeding, but the advantages of having Harmony totally bottlefed outweigh those negatives, especially now that she's starting daycare in a week. And now to the task of re-adjusting her schedule, and dealing with engorgement! It hasn't been painful at all so far, and I've not yet had to pump to relieve engorgement, and hopefully this trend will continue!, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Harmony's Growth:
(back to Saturday's journal entry)...
Harmony now weighs 17 lbs 12 oz. It seems like she's doing this like, alternating weeks thing! Like, she'll gain quite a bit one week, then not very much the next, then a lot. But whatever, she's still very chubby and healthy and as long as she's healthy, her weight doesn't matter. :)
I think the reason Harmony has seemed less interested in food other than bottles is because she's not used to so much bottle! Because the bottle is easier than the breast, she takes more than she would take on the breast and then isn't hungry for her next meal. For example, when Harmony was nursing, she used to breastfeed at 5:30 and then have quite a bit of cereal at 6:30 and still be ready for a 6 oz bottle at 7:30. But the first night that I bottle fed her at 5:30, she took 6 oz, then fussed so I made another 2, which she drank. But then at super time, she didn't have much cereal, and then at 7:30 she only had 4 oz. But then of course that meant that she was up for another bottle at 2 am instead of 5 am! I think we've got this problem solved now- although she's still having less cereal for supper, she's balanced the bottles out and has about 7 oz at each feeding. Also, she isn't very hungry anymore for breakfast, but then she'll be hungry sooner for a bottle. But if I try to get her to eat less in night, say, 4 oz instead of 6 oz, she wont go back to sleep very well. My theory on this is that when she was breastfeeding, it took a lot of energy. So she'd take a few ounces and get really sleepy. By the time she got up to 5 oz or whatever, she would be asleep and wouldn't really care to try hard to get any more milk. But on the bottle, she'll still be awake by the time she gets 5 oz and so she'll make the effort to take more. Also, I don't think she's been getting much for that one last breastfeeding per day at 10:45. She's been eating almost whole jars of veggies for lunch these days instead of her usual half jar. I think that may be because it's more difficult for breasts to produce a 6 oz feeding every 24 hours than it would be if that feeding were surrounded by others. Hopefully all these little problems will work themselves out when Harmony is exclusively bottlefed.