Journal

Week 4

(December 18th- December 25th)

Life:

Well, Harmony was a little angel this Christmas. :) Even though I was really sick on Thursday (the 24th) with a sore throat, cold, headache, and really high fever (up to 40 degrees C), I recovered enough for us to go to all the family get-togethers on Christmas day. We spent Christmas eve with my aunt and uncle and their family of 4 kids so it was a busy Christmas morning! Harmony was awake and alert most of the day- with all those new faces to look at and Christmas tree lights, who could blame her! She seemed so interested in the world around her. Everyone thought she was absolutely adorable and I definetely agreed with them whole-heartedly- she's a little princess, that's for sure.

Harmony's Growth:

A lot of people who hadn't seen Harmony before got to see her this Christmas and of course one of the things that was commonly heard was "She's sooo tiny!" This struck me as funny because I can't believe how fast she's growing! I can't believe she's a month old already! I've been noticing that her newborn diapers seem to be getting smaller on her, especially with her legs packing on so much baby fat- I think she may grow out of the newborn size diapers soon and move up to size ones.
Developmentally, she's really sharp. During play time, I held a rattle to the side and shook it and she turned towards the noise. Then I slowly moved it in an arc in front of her and she followed it, almost 180 degrees! She's still very interested in faces and noises and well, everything- she's just drinking in all this new information. Also, I think she may have smiled her first "real" smile, but I'm not sure, it may have just been coincidence. It was on Christmas morning and she was sitting in her carseat, looking around at the tree lights and listening to the racket my cousins were making, and I went over to check on her and bent over her and started talking to her and she smiled! Like I said, not too sure if it was a "real" smile, but it was so cute!

"Fourth Trimester"

It's been a struggle this past week, and I think I've been pushing it. I'm going to try to take it a little easier on myself this coming week, now that Christmas is over. I've noticed my incision getting a little redder, and sometimes it's a little sore. The doctor and public health nurses I've talked to say that six weeks is the recomended time for recovery. That means that for six weeks I'm not supposed to lift anything heavier than Harmony, which is totally impossible! I'm a single mom, living on my own, there's no way I can avoid it. I would go totally nuts being cooped up in the apartment by myself, and Harmony and I need a bit of fresh air. Unfortunately, the apartment building I live in has a kind of split-level thing going on- our side of the building has a little set of stairs on the way to the elevator, stairs that make it tough to get the stroller out of here. One thing I have had to give up is giving Harmony "real" baths. My dad was helping me while he was here, and I tried one bath on my own after he left, but lifting that bath up from the tub to Harmony's crib was a real struggle. So for now I'm just giving her sponge baths, which seem to be better anyways, since she really hates being naked and wet!
It was tough trying to find an outfit to wear for Christmas that was dressy enough, fit properly across the bust line (all my button shirts were a big "No" in this department), would work for breastfeeding, and went down past the waist to hide the tummy I still have. I finally found an ok shirt and I'm glad Harmony didn't spit up on it cause I didn't have another one.
I still have a case of the "baby blues". It's not as severe as the post-partum depression of the first two weeks, but it's still there- a lingering, hormonal and emotional sadness. I think a lot of it has to do with Chris leaving us (he broke up with me last week and now does not want to acknowledge that he's Harmony's father), and also the fact that I'm so sleep dreprived! But Harmony and I are working our way back up together. We've both had a really rough time throughout the labour and hospital stay, and I'm definetely been under stress since coming home, but we're doing a really good job of recovering. When she looks at me with those curious little blue eyes while I'm cuddling her in my arms, I instantly forget how fussy she was at midnight the night before, and everything seems so perfect...

Continue to the next week...