Emotional:
The reason this part of the log is being written for all 5 weeks is because on June 5th, my life was thrown into absolute turmoil...I wont give all the details because they're actually very painful for me to recall. I still have nightmares about that horrible time in my life. I had never felt so alone, abandonned and helpless and I hope I never do again.
Everything was going smoothly in my life. I was trying my best to eat well and keep my stress levels down to look after the growing child inside me. The last exams of my very last year of high school were soon approaching and my plans for the weekend were to study hard and ace them to get a good scholarship for university. I had a minor argument with my mother on Friday night. It was pretty much the usual spat, we hadn't gotten along in years and with my father out of the country (she has since joined him there, thank goodness), she was having trouble coping and took out more anger on me than usual. Little did I know that small argument made something in her mind snap...
It happened on Saturday afternoon. I was still in my pyjamas, studying for the exam I had on Monday. My mother arrived home and knocked on the door. I opened it and was shocked to find a police officer standing in the hallway. There had been no warning. A few weeks before she had threatened to kick me out but my father got involved (from out of the country) and said that no, she was over-reacting and that I was to stay in the house until exams were over and until I found an apartment. The cop told me I had ten minutes to pack my things and get out of the house. I did so, not packing much else besides my school books. I was told not to contact or go near the house ever again. I walked up to the bus stop, called a few friends. Some were out but I eventual found a place to stay. I stayed there that day, found a different place to sleep that night, then stayed with another friend for the next week. Thankfully, I got through that first exam, and got exempted from the other two because of the circumstances.
It was a terrible time in my life and I don't know if I can ever forgive her for what she did to me. She tried to speak to me after, no apologies or anything. Seemed to think what she did was "best for me". I fail to understand how...
I felt much more re-assured when I finally got to speak to my father. Throughout my childhood, he has always been the calm, rational one while my mother went into her fits of irrationality. He said to just forget about what my mother did and to just continue on as best I could. He said he was still going to support me, financially and otherwise...
Also during this time, I had my high school graduation, my aunt helped me find an apartment and I moved in. I'm now feeling very settled and am going to start seeing a counsellor to deal with the emotional trauma of what has gone on.
Physical:
I was expecting to have my stomach pop out a lot more but so far, there's still room for strangers to wonder if I'm pregnant or just putting on a little too much weight around the waist! Somewhere in these weeks, the nausea settled down, slowed to once in a while, and then disapeared! :) I was still feeling very tired and worn down, but that was partially due to stress.