Emotional:
Pregnancy hormones have affected me throughout the past 8 months, but now I'm starting to see more of a swing to this pendulum of emotions. One minute I'm excited about the baby, super-happy about the way my life is going, absolutely enraptured by Harmony's every kick and hiccup and wiggle; the next minute I'm almost in tears, scared to death about my abilities as a parent, frightened of my future, plagued by feelings of doom and depression! I really wish my emotions could find some solid footing- I really feel like I'm on an absolute roller coaster that's been slowly picking up speed over the past week.
Time is still rushing by as I make preparations for baby. I still have not packed my labour bag, but I've at least made a list of everything I need and am going to work on packing it this week. Also this week I intend to finish painting Harmony's room. I finished the main part a couple weeks ago, but I still need to get around to those stenciled bears around the top.
I've had a bombshell dropped on me this week- all throughout this pregnancy, I've been assuming that in January, Chris will have a co-op job in town and will be living with us and helping with Harmony. He has just found out that he didn't get a job here, and will instead be in London, Ontario. We're still trying to work out what this means for our relationship, both as a couple and as parents...
My friend Rhonda-Lee had her baby last Thursday! He was two weeks overdue and weighed almost 10 pounds! Her labour story is very encouraging for me- she went through it without pain medication, and only pushed for about 15 minutes. The baby's name is Benjamin, and I'd always had a feeling he'd be a boy! It was really scary seeing him, since I only met Rhonda-Lee after we were both pregnant. It really made things sink in even further for me that I wont be pregnant forever and that soon I'll have a little baby to look after too.
Physical:
Friday was a very scary day for me; I woke up with severe pains in my right lower abdomen. It felt like a sharp, stabbing pain, and although I tried getting up and walking around a bit, as well as going to the bathroom, nothing helped. My aunt Norma took me to my GP, who said there really wasn't much she could do, so we went to Emergency at the Riverside. They did a non-stress test (monitoring Harmony's heart beat and movements for a period of time) and then sent us over to see the OB on call. He finally determined that it was probably gas pains, like an air bubble stuck in a certain spot, and gave me an antacid/anti-gas to take. I did, and felt much better, but who knew gas pains could be that painful! Another of the joys of pregnancy, I guess.
In other news- Oh, my back!!! I can't walk without waddling anymore... This baby is just so heavy! The weight is also putting a lot of pressure on my legs, and I either have pinched nerves or pulled muscles in my upper inner thighs. But I'm still doing the best I can, and still getting around a lot by bus, although I've started trying to find alternatives to my regular routine and am resting at home as much as possible. Sleeping is still a big problem, but I guess the only thing to do about that is to hang on. In a few more months I'll hopefully be able to get a full night's sleep, depending on how soon Harmony settles into a good routine. I'm hoping that by three months she'll be down to one or two feeding in the middle of the night. Wishful thinking? Maybe... but I can hope! :)
Harmony continues to grow and wiggle. She's getting hiccups more often these days, I guess because her lungs are growing very quickly, along with the rest of her! The usual weight gain for fetuses at this stage is a half a pound a week, so she's probably about 6 pounds now. She's still in the head down position, still with her body curved on my right side, like she has been for a few weeks. Her head is still low down in the semi-dropped position. I'm hoping her early dropping is indicative of an early labour. It'd be nice if I was in labour a couple weeks from today. I can't believe I'm so close! Before I know it, I'll be holding this small wonder in my arms!