This is my mommy's story of how she got pregnant with me...
I know that she was very young when she got pregnant and that some
people really judge her for that. But I also know that my mom is a
great mom and that she did the best she could with what God gave her
in life. I was a blessing to her, and fought through a lot to be here,
so she accepted me with open arms into her life, and made a great
life for me... Here is her story...
A Few Thoughts on Teen Pregnancy in General...
My hope in writing this story is that other young women can either learn
from it, or gather courage from it. If you're a young teen having sex,
maybe this will help encourage you to make extra sure you're having *safe* sex.
If you're a pregnant teen, maybe this will help you make some choices,
or at least show you that you are definetely not alone...
I doubt anyone's story is exactly like mine- we all have different ones.
But I think that by sharing our stories, we can gather strength, and learn
more about teen pregnancy- why it happens, what can be done about it. I think
a lot of it has to do with society- it needs to change! Teens are pressured
from so many sources to have sex- commercials tell us that sex is the greatest
thing in the world, older friends brag about it, TV shows and movies portray
it as the most wonderful experience. And yet we are not told much about
our choices regarding sex...
Many parents, especially strict and religious
ones simply tell their teens "Don't do it!", end of story. I always
find it so funny when I hear about parents that, upon finding their teens with birth
control pills or condoms, will yell and scream, and throw out the birth control! Then
when their teen gets pregnant, then yell "Why weren't you SAFE?".
Some parents are maybe not so extreme, and might not *throw out* the birth control,
but a lot of them send the message, either conciously or unconciously,
that birth control (and sexuality in general!) is embarassing, something you should
be ashamed of.
But what those parents don't understand is that not talking to your teen about
sex and protection could actually harm him/her because they might make bad choices about their
sexual activities. I don't have stats to back me up here, but I'm pretty sure teens that
have to totally sneak around to express their sexuality have more trouble getting acess
to birth control and always having it handy! I know one of the main reasons I forgot
to take my birth control pill was because I felt I had to hide it from my parents
(even though when my mother did find it, approached me about it, and told me
she was ok about it, I still felt embarassed about having it!), and hiding it meant
sometimes not seeing it!
Instead of just telling us not to do it, I think parents should encourage
their teens to make safe choices about sex and give them the self-esteem
they need to say "No" to the pressures around them. And the power to fight
against biological urges (or at least find alternative methods of dealing
with biological urges) that are completely natural and healthy!
I'm not saying that the pressure from commercials and the lack of
parental support in helping teens deal with their sex drives is some kind of excuse
for teens that have irresponsible sex. I'm just suggesting that it is not
solely the teen that is to blame.
And don't forget all the teens
that are practicing safe sex (bitrh control, condoms, etc.) but slip
through the small % margin for that birth control! And also the teens
that practice safe sex for the most part, but then make one mistake-
people assume they are completely irresponsible, and that is not always the case!
I know quite a few babies
that are "birth control babies" (babies born due to the small percent failure
rate of birth control pills) or "morning after babies" (babies born despite
the mother taking the morning after pill) like mine. These babies are often seen by society as
the result of teens having "irresponsible" sex when really, those teens are trying
their best to be responsible, even though they feel they can't ignore their sexual
instincts and urges.
Harmony is a "morning after baby"... and I've always hated the fact that
I am seen as being immature and irresponsible because I got pregnant. People
think it's this horrbile thing, and that I shouldn't even have been having
sex anyways, because I was only 17. Well, guess what? 17-year-olds have
sex. In fact, a lot of 17-year-olds are having sex. Our bodies were biologically
designed to have babies at 16- we begin menstruating at 12 or 14 and our hormones
kick in around 15 or 16, and we are asked to ignore them?
If you are a parent of a teen reading this, I encourage you to please
give your teens choices about safe sex, rather than giving them only
one option, and one that doesn't make any sense!
"No sex until you are married!" (which, nowadays, could
be in our late twenties!) doesn't seem like a reasonable choice, does it?
Anyways, enough of that... I'll get off my soapbox now. ;) Here's my story...
it's a bit personal, but how could it not be? I hope everyone can at least learn
something about teen pregnancy through this story...
How I Got Pregnant...
I clearly remember the day I found out I was pregnant... it didn't hit me
for a couple days- I just walked around in denial, laughing and talking
as though there weren't a little life begining to grow and form inside
my body...I somehow had *known* that I was pregnant though, right from the start.
Let me start at the begining...
Chris and I met in high school when I was 16. He was 18 and in his graduating year;
I was in grade 11. It was your normal high school romance, we fell in
love, and started sleeping together (we were eachother's firsts...).
The first time we slept together was totally unplanned,
and totally unexpected! We didn't have protection handy, and just
got too "caught up in the moment" to think about stopping.
I ended up taking the morning after pill the day after our
first time together, and that was the end of that. Who knows
if I was pregnant or not (although I prefer not to think about
cause that thought always scares me!)
I
got on the birth control (went to the doctor, by myself; my parents
didn't even know I'd had sex or anything) soon after that,
to make sure I wouldn't have to go through that experience
again...
We dated
steadily until he left for his university (about 10 hours away!) at the end
of the summer, leaving me with a broken
heart after being in that relationship for 8 or 9 months. I had wanted to
continue things long-distance, but he thought that it wouldn't
work. We parted paths, and I started dating someone else for a month
or so, but when he
came back during Christmas holidays, we fell in love all over again.
Even though we thought things wouldn't work long distance, we had to try.
When had a great few weeks together during Christmas, and he promised
to visit lots. Plus, he would be in town that summer, so we
were just going to try to hold on until then. I was either still on,
or back on the pill at Christmas (I don't remember if I'd stopped
taking it for those three fall months or not...)
Things were working well until we had a big fight over the phone
at the end of February.
I remember throwing my birth control pills right into the garbage-
"I'm never sleeping with that jerk again!" Even though I was in the middle
of my cycle, stopping the pills brought on a period.
Two weeks later, on March Break, I was on university tours. My top choice was Waterloo-
which just happened to be
Chris' school. I wasn't chosing the school because of him,
just because it's one of Ontario's (and Canada's for that matter)
top schools. I wasn't even planning to see him, but we made plans
to talk things over in person. I spent most of the day doing university
tours and finding out about my program, and residence, and campus life, etc.
Then I went to see Chris. I angrily stormed my way through campus,
stomped through his dorm, and knocked furiously on the door, running
all the things I was going to yell at him in my head. But for some
reason, I just couldn't stay mad. And I think everyone can guess where
things went from there... I ended up missing the bus back to Toronto, where
I was staying with a friend of the family, and had to spend the night in Chris' dorm.
We had a really wonderful time together, and had "safe" (condoms & withdrawl method) sex until the very last
time. It was only about an hour before my bus, and I wasn't going to miss
it again! I knew I wasn't going to see him for another few months, and
that just made me so sad. I knew I would miss him so much... and that
feeling just overwhelmed me and I forget about everything else.
Unfortunately, we also got really carried away, and "forgot" to use protection
(i.e. we were using the withdrawl method and forgot the main point of it).
One little "oops" in a couple years of safe sex... surely, I wasn't...?
I dismissed it. There was no way... We didn't really talk about it much
then, although Chris suggested I take the morning after pill.
I got on the bus back to Toronto, and said nothing
to my friend. I could have asked her to take me to a clinic in Toronto,
but it was an unfamiliar city, and this friend was older, and also a friend
of my mother's, so I didn't want her to even know I was having sex at all.
She had been my old Catholic Sunday school teacher when I was younger, so
you can imagine why I wouldn't bring it up! I decided to wait until I
got back to my own city, my own doctor that I felt comfortable with,
and reluctantly took the morning after pills,
even though I felt a great deal of hesistation. It was towards the end of
the 72 hours that you have to take it in though (maybe around 60 something?),
maybe that's why it didn't
work...? I asked the doctor though, and the stats are that even near the end of the
3 day period, the morning after pill is still over 90% effective.
So with the timing of when Harmony was conceived and when I took the pill, there
was only about an 8% chance that the pregnancy would've continued. And well, guess what?
Harmony snuck through that 8% margin...
Making a Choice...
Two weeks later, at the start of April, my period was late. At first I dismissed it as my cycle
being off because of going off the birth control early. When you get off
the birth control pill, it messes up your cycle. But I just had this nagging
feeling that something was up. So I bought a home pregnancy test. I was
actually living with my aunt and uncle at the time (my somewhat emotionally disturbed
mother just couldn't "handle" me when I returned from my university tours)
and I didn't want to do the test there, so I brought it to school. I remember
doing the test in the girls washroom; the little dropper was missing, so I
used a straw from my juice box (don't worry, I didn't use the straw for juice after! :P ). After a few minutes, a second little
pink line appeared. I checked the box, and double checked. Yep. I was pregnant...
It didn't hit for a while after that. I spent the rest of the day just
going to classes as normal, putting the thought of a baby out of my mind.
I went out with a couple girl friends that night, and I told them about
it, but I wasn't serious about it. My best friend was more upset that I
was at that point. I slept over at her place, and called Chris from
there to tell him. He was pretty freaked out, but somehow assumed I
would of course get an abortion. I told him no, I wasn't *definitely* getting
an abortion, I was thinking about the whole thing, letting it sink in.
I wish I remembered more of that phone conversation, but I don't. It's
all really blurry in my memory...so is the whole couple weeks after.
I remember sleeping alot. I got so tired in my first trimester, I would
sleep like, 12 hour nights. I gave it a lot of thought, but somehow
it was like I always knew what my choice would be. Chris pushed me to
get an abortion, but I always opposed his suggestion. He reminded me of
when we'd talked about it before- when we first started going out- and
I'd said of course I would get an abortion should I ever get pregnant.
But that was when I was 16, in the middle of high school. Having a baby
then would have meant dropping out of high school, but when I actually got
pregnant, I was less than 2 months away from being 18, and 3 months away
from graduating from high school, with my OACs even. I had fast-tracked
high school and was graduating a year earlier than everyone else my age.
So that was different circumstances...
Besides, as much as you can try to
imagine what you would do in a certain situation, it's not the same as being
there. Women that aren't pregnant can say "Sure, I'd just have an abortion.
No sweat." but once I knew there was actually a little fetus living and growing
inside of me, I just couldn't do it. I'm pro-choice, but personally,
I couldn't have done it. I knew that there was no way I could go
and have an abortion, and then be mentally ready for university in September,
let alone mentally stable for the rest of my life. I knew something like
that would plague me for the rest of my life. I could clearly see
a picture of this little baby girl (somehow I just knew she was a girl)
in my head, so clearly, and I knew she as meant to be.
Once I was pretty sure of what I would do, I looked into my options.
I talked to my dad, who was living in Nepal at the time, and he said he
would support me, both emotionally and financially, in whatever choice I made.
So that made the choice easier, knowing that I wasn't going it alone.
That was, I think, what helped me make an absolutely sure choice.
Even though it was like I had already known what I was going to do,
I needed to hear words of support from someone, before having the courage
and stregnth to tell everyone what my intentions were.
I spoke to Chris, and he was not happy. He was actually pretty angry at
me, and yelled at me, and told me I was making the wrong choice. He spoke to my best friend
about things, and told her he thought I would treat the baby like a little
doll- that I wouldn't be a responsible parent, that I was doing it all for selfish reasons.
He tried to get me to admit
I didn't want a boy, I only wanted a girl. He even went as far
as to find "research" on the internet to prove to me that with the timing
of when we had sex, I was most likely to have a boy! This was all even though I'd told him
that I would love a little baby boy just as much as I would a girl.
After some rude comments from his side, I just stopped talking to
him altogether.
Once the choice was made, I felt relieved. Extremely stressed out and
worried, but relieved... It was like I knew in the back of my mind all along
that I could never have gone through with getting an abortion, but finally making that
choice, saying it out loud, benig 100% certain about it, well, that took a huge weight
off my shoulders.
Pushing Forwards with Life...
Which isn't to say that things got easy from then on. Things got extremely
difficult and complicated! I felt alone, scared, just terrified sometimes about what kind
of parent I would be, and how the hell I would do it all alone. But I forged ahead.
I saw a doctor, got an obstetrician and started taking pre-natal vitamins. I was a "stress & social"
smoker, but I didn't *touch* another cigarette after I found out I was pregnant! I started eating
better, started planning for my future. And I kept going to high school. The morning (& all day!) sickness
I had in my first trimester made things a little rough physically, as well as the extreme tiredness!
I just felt so exhausted all the time! But I kept going...
My mother found out I was pregnant, and begged me to move back home, so I did. She kicked
me out of the house about a month later, 2 weeks after she legally could (after my 18th bitrhday),
2 days before my first Monday morning exam during finals week. I was 4 months pregnant, and in my pyjamas studying
when she brought the cop to my bedroom door. She clamied she was just too stressed out to handle
everything, and I still haven't really forgiven her for that. I just don't know why she chose
the cop, and the horrible timing. The last sight I had of my childhood home was seeing it
with a cop car in the driveway, after being told that if I even set foot on that property again,
my mother would call the cops and have my arrested for tresspassing.
Being kicked out threw me into real low. I stayed over with a few friends, but I hardly slept or
ate, which probably wasn't that great for my growing child. I somehow (miraculously! Thank
you brains!) did well on the Monday morning exam, but it lowered my mark enough to make
me lose out on $2,000 worth of scholarship monies I was going to receive with my previous marks.
At least I was able to get out of my other two exams, because I think I would have failed those,
and I don't know what I would've done if I'd had to go back to high school for a couple of
courses after a year, and *then* had to go on to university.
All along I'd thought that what my mother had done meant I was disowned from the family. It
seemed like a "never talk to us again" kind of move, but my father contacted me from overseas
and said that he wasn't behind her with it and didn't even know she was planning on doing that!
He got his sister to help find me an apartment and get me settled in there so I wouldn't
have to be on welfare. Cause welfare doesn't care if you're pregnant or not, so they would've
given me the same ammount any single person gets- as in, enough for a bachelor apartment in a bad
neighbourhood- not somewhere you want to be locked into a year lease at for when your baby
arrives. So my dad helped me out with everythnig, and I got a small job, and he says that
that was my wedding money. :P
While I was pregnant, I kept busy getting ready for the most impotant job of my life- being
a parent! I read all the books I could find, went to pre-natal classes, and started doing
research online, as well as starting my own little homepage (which has since grown, you'll
notice!). :) I also got settled in at my apartment, and painted the baby's room. And I worked
at my part-time job. I also slept alot- who knew being pregnant could make you so tired!
I usually had to sleep 12 hour nights- I'd better not be this tired with my next pregnancy because
I'll already have one child to look after! Time just flew by, and before I knew it, Harmony was born!
Harmony Arrives! (A Tough Start...)
This part of my story should be the happiest, but it's really not. I had an absolutely *horrible*
birth experience (2 days of labour with the grande finale being a c-section with the epidural
not working properly! OUCH!!! Click here for the whole story...),
and Harmony and my first few weeks together were just
miserable. :( I mean, yes, we had some wonderful moments, and some bondnig moments, but
on the whole, I was alone, sleep-deprived, stressed beyond any imaginable stress levels,
and angry at the world...
I was angry at Harmony's father for leaving me all of a sudden. He didn't
show up for her birth, and although he was supposed to be in town for 4 months when she was
an infant, he got a job 10 hours away instead. I was angry at my friends, who were so clueless
about childbirth and how exhausting it is, that 5 of them showed up in my hospital room
all smiles and giggles less than 24 hours after Harmony was born! I was angry at my family- my
aunts who had promised to bring over casseroles, etc. and to come help when the baby was born
but who didn't appear except to visit and coochie-coo at her. (except my Aunt Norma, who seemed like the only person helping me at all
during those first few months! She saved myself from myself many a time, and was the only one
who ever took Harmony overnight when she was an infant!) I was angry at Chris' parents, who
still didn't believe she was their grandchild, and didn't even care about her, didn't tell
anyone in their family about her birth. I was angry at my parents- at my mother who did something
so unforgivable that it made me not even want to talk to her even again, even at a time
when having a mother around to ask questions is essential, and at my father who was so far
away.
And I was angry at myself! for not
being the "perfect" mother!!! And I was angry at this little tiny person who was so incredibly
demanding! (and then of course even angrier at myself for being angry at my child! Society
teaches us that that is SO horribly wrong, and yet of course no mother can ever avoid being
angry towards their child! Yes, a lot of my anger was irrational maybe, and often it wasn't
the person's *fault* that they were doing what they were doing, but I just felt so icredibly
alone. Even though my anger was sometimes without good reason, it was still there... :(
I had read all the books, and I knew what I was getting myself into just as much
as any other mother does, but the thing is is that you never really know. It's all luck of the draw.
Some mothers end up with "sleepers" or "watchers", babies who sleep all day or who just happily
sit and take it all in. And then there are those of us who are blessed with "high needs" children.
Don't get me wrong, now I'm glad to have such an amazingly bright child, but back then, it
was too overwhelming. I thought newborns slept a lot- Harmony hardly slept at all. I thought
newborns wanted to cuddle- Harmony wanted to be able to see it all! When she was a few days old,
she started lifting her head off of the shoulder of whoever was holding her, and looking
around! I knew as soon as she stared at me with her bright dark blue eyes that she was a
really intelligent child, but one who needed a lot from the world in return!
Settling In...
Those first few weeks and months were really rough. I had very little help, and healing from my
surgery and dealing with the emotional side effects of having had a c-section (i.e. "failure"
to have a normal labour in my eyes at the time...) made things even more challenging. But little
by little, I grew into my role as a mom, and I started to have more confidence in myself as a parent.
I was still connected to many sources of information- there was a weekly baby clinic that we attended,
and we continued going to the pre-natal/post-natal nutrition group until Harmony was about 7 months old.
I also attending other parenting groups and classes, and Harmony stayed in a little child care
for a couple hours each morning and afternoon in a place for young single parents- the parents
had to stay in the building and had to be attending classes or programs while their children
were in child care, but it was still a nice break (not to mention some nice adult conversation!)
I think I really did the best I could during Harmony's babyhood. I talked to her a lot, and sang
to her. Some people must have thought I was crazy to always be telling my baby what I was doing,
where we were going, and what we were seeing, even at such a young age, but I really believe
that it helps improve the child's intelligence, and their feelings of security. I tried to
provide her with as much stimulation as she seemed to need (which was a LOT!) and took her to
the mall, the park, the museums, etc. Even without a lot of money, you can still provide your
child with many of the things they need, as long as you love them, and really care about them,
and have the energy and creativity to keep them stiumulated and engaged.
I breastfed Harmony until she self-weaned at around 6-7 months. She dropped her middle of the
night feeding first- she refused to nurse, but would take a bottle. I was a little disapointed,
because I had been planning to exclusively breastfeed her until I went back to school in September,
and was hoping to even keep her nighttime feedings a little longer, up to a year or more, but
I had always planned on letting her wean herself, whenever that time came.
It ended up being good timing anyways, beucase at the end of June, I got a call from one of the daycares
who's waiting list our name had been on for about a year. They had a spot for Harmony, was I ready to
take it? Yes, I was! School would be starting in September, so I couldn't turn them down!
Back to School!
I had graduated from high school in 1998, when I was 4 months pregnant with Harmony. In Fall
1999, when she was 9 month old, I was ready to go back! I started first year university that fall,
in Honours Psychology, with a $2,000 scholaship from the marks I'd received in my final year
of high school. Harmony got a spot at the daycare on campus, which was very convenient! It was
tough getting used to being back at school, since I'd been a stay-at-home mom for over a year,
but I got used to the routine, and Harmony got used to daycare, and now we both really love it!
Although I was happy to be able to be at home with Harmony during her first 7 months because
it gave me a chance to really bond with her, as well as breastfeed her, and give her tons of one-on-
one stimulation and care, I was happy to get back to school, so that I could eventually
get a really good job to be able to support us. And Harmony really enjoyed daycare as well. She
had been used to being in the childcare for a few hours a day (with mommy there once in a while
to nurse her or change a diaper; always handy!), so being there from 9-4 wasn't that much more
of a stretch. The staff was really wonderful too, very attentive to each child's needs!
My first year of university was a success! I got a GPA of 8.4- that's an A! :) I made some
new friends, even though social time out was tough because I had to find babysitters, etc!
Harmony's first year
of daycare was also a success- she "graduated" from the baby program and moved up to the toddler
program (two months early too!). She's now in a larger room, with more children, and enjoys many more
stimulating activities, such as playing outside, more arts and crafts time, "circle time",
large motor activities, story time, etc.!
Some Thoughts on Being a Teen Mom
Becoming a mother has definitely changed my life in a lot of ways, and I think most of those
changes have been good ones. Yes, I had to grow up faster than other girls. And yes, my life
has been a bit harder, and will probably to continue to be more challenging for a while yet,
especially while I am still a single mother, and still in school. But I've always felt more
mature than others my age anyways, and I think about that a lot... In university, I see so
many people that *waste* so much of their lives! I know that socializing is important, but I just
have no understanding of the people at school who go out drinking 4 nights a week! They spend so
much money and so much time doing that, and then they complain about the assigment that's due! I
feel that even if I hadn't become a mom, I wouldn't have chosen that lifestyle either... I mean,
really, everyone says that teen moms are "wasting their lives", but many of the teen moms I know
are just motivated to work harder and spend their time more constructively!
One of the big differences of being a teen mom to me has been the support side of things. In your
"normal" nuclear family, you have a husband, and two sets of grandparents, etc. helping you out.
Often you'll have other family members (brothers, sisters, cousins on your generation level) that
are also in that stage of life (marriage, children, etc.) that can help you and give you advice.
Many teen moms don't have a lot of this. Some young moms are married, and some have siblings that
are older and have children, but I think a lot of us feel "out of place" because we didn't do things
the normal way. Society gives us the message that you're supposed to date for 3 years, get engaged,
then get married, then wait a while, get settled in your jobs, buy a house, maybe get a dog
together, a family-sized car, and then, finally, when everything else in your life is relatively stable, have a child.
In a way, I'm glad I just skipped right ahead to the grand finale, because now I can just avoid
all those "normal" steps along the way altogether, and do things my way! ;) Hey, it looks like
I'm doing things backwards anyways, so now that I have a kid, a car, a cat, and a house, I guess getting
settled into a job and then getting married are next on my list! :P But my point is, I
would probably have had a little more patience with my baby if someone had been there to
spend an hour with her each evening to give me a break. Or if I'd had a partner handy to
help me make some decisions about parenting. When you're in charge, 100%, all the time, with
no backup, life can seem just too tough...
Another big difference is the financial side. Teen moms generally don't have the same resources.
I'll go back again to that "normal" family- those "settled" moms generally have a house with a backyard,
and a husband with a decent job, a decent job themselves, etc. When that baby arrives, they
have more money, and that translates into time, and not to mention, sanity!!! All the baby books
say "If your child is crying, take them for a ride in the car and they'll go right to sleep"
but what if you don't have a car? There are so many other products and gadgets as well that well-off
mothers have at their disposal, the latest exersaucer, baby swing, toys, etc. that teen moms usually
don't have access to. I was lucky to get a hand-me-down swing (which was simply a god-send!)
but other moms aren't that lucky... And of course along with the tough financial situation comes
embarassment. It wasn't fun to fight over the cans that weren't expired at the food cupboard.
And being on welfare was probably one of the most demeaning experiences I've ever had, and I
hope I never have to repeat it (you basically have to bring in all the paperwork you've
ever received in your entire life to prove to them every month that you're still poor, and even
then, the question you...).
But despite these disadvantages, a lot of teen moms still do really well, and I think this is just
proof of our determination and spirit. We do under strained circumstances what "normal" mothers
do with all the comforts and support they have available to them. A lot of us juggle single parenthood
with school or full-time jobs that barely pay the rent. Yes, there are teen moms out there that fit
the stereotype and I know a few. They're happy with their welfare check for now, with no life
ambitions, and some with no high school diplomas. Their babies are just cute little attachments,
to show off to friends, to bring with them for attention from others...
But I know far more young mothers that don't fit these stereotypes, and I include myself in the
group that don't. Next time you encounter a teen mom, don't assume she's doing nothing with
her life, and don't assume she even wanted to be a teen mom in the first place. If there's one
thing I hope that everyone learns from me telling my story, it's that even though all young moms become mothers
for different reasons, and that some are good moms, and some aren't, I think that each one
of us is doing the best we can with what we've got, and that those of us who are really going
somewhere with our lives, and raising our children with lots of love and attention don't deserve
the bad rep we get from society!
Where Are We Now?
Update: August 2001
I may be doing thing backwards than most people (got the kid, then the
car, then the house, working on the education and partner! lol!) but
the way we've done it seems to have worked well for us. Harmony and
I have settled into a really great routine with eachother, and
we're happy to be toghether. I am so happy to be a mom, because
raising Harmony has given me a real sense of purpose in the world. :)
I'm doing well in school, and just about to enter my 3rd year university.
Harmony graduated to the preschool program at her daycare and loves it!
Even though she's in daycare, we still spend at least 5-6 hours a day
together, doing everyday life stuff (eating dinner together, shopping,
getting ready for bed, etc.) as well as fun stuff (weekend outings,
playing at the park before dinner, doing crafts after dinner, etc.).
Harmony is thriving well, both physically, mentally and emotionally,
and I'm really proud of the great job I'm doing in raising her.
Update from Fall 2000:
Harmony is now almost two, and I'm in my second year of university. Things have been
going ok for us- it's always a challenge, being a single parent and full time university student,
but somehow, we've managed! Harmony really loves it at daycare, and is usually there from 8:30
or 9 a.m. until 4 or 4:30 p.m. each day. We still have lots of time together though- usually 2 hours
in the morning, and 3 at night, and of course time together on the weekend. She goes to see her grandparents
every weekend now (usually stays overnight each Sat. night and comes home Sunday), and when her
dad is back in town in January, she will get to see him each weekend too!
This fall has been a little turbulent- we moved into a new townhouse! We each have our
own room upstairs, and my brother lives in the basement. So far we've had problems with him
though, so we're not sure if we'll be staying here (or if he will be staying here!) but it's
nice to have the extra space, and especially the little backyard! And the park that's right
next to the house!!! :)
We've also had a tough time since we were in a car accident. Harmony was totally fine- she
was strapped in safely in her 5-point harness carseat, but I'm suffering from whiplash, and
had to take a couple weeks off of school, which has been tough on me (especially
to catch up afterwards!), and on my marks. :( But hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
I am just very thankful we were both strapped in tightly!!!
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